Wala lang.

What's so good about surprises? Sudden rush of emotion..whether joy or sorrow? For me, both.

Yung tipong speechless ka. Tapos mapapasuntok ka sa hangin at tatalon ka. Puede ding iiyak ka na lang at kahit pigilan mo ayaw nya tumigil. You feel so alive. Tumitibok puso mo. Nakaka-blangko for a split second..err minute pala.

And above these emotions, the good thing is you revive your faith. If nakaka-lungkot, you tell yourself to hang-on. Move on. That maybe it's not meant for you. You accept things though its hard on that moment. And kung masaya, then again the faith strengthen up. You'll see the fruit of believing on something you can't see. The sweetest thing right on that time.

Surprises. Makes you feel human. And thankful even for the simplest things. Yeah..

Comfort Room

Habang nag-titingin ako ng mga picture sa Facebook at cellphone ko, napuna ko na parang lagi na lang ako may kuha sa comfort room/powder room dito sa Singapore. Natawa na lang ako. Nag-isip. Bakit nga ba? Sa Pilipinas pa lang naman mahilig na kami ng aking kaibigan na si Tuks na mag-picture-picture sa cr. Naaliw kami na may kaharap kang salamin habang nakuha ng picture. Pero dito sa Singapore tila bawat puntahan kong cr may kuha ako.

Isa lang ang dahilan. Malinis ang palikuran nila. Nasa loob man ng mall, sa MRT/LRT station,sa simbahan o kahit sa public toilet nila malinis. Nakaka-tuwa na makita yung disiplina ng mga taong gumagamit ng cr nila. Kung tutuusin, mas madalas ka pa nga makakita ng nagli-linis ng cr sa Pilipinas na nasa loob mismo. Ang mga Pinoy halos tumambay na sa loob ng cr kakalinis pero wala din. Ilang saglit lang madumi na naman.

Don mo makikita ang pagakaka-iba natin sa ibang lahi. Sinasabing malilinis daw tayong mga Pinoy. Hindi umaalis ng hindi bagong ligo. Araw-araw kung magpalit ng damit. Kay-lilinis ng mga paa at kamay. Maya't-maya ang punas sa mga gadget na bitbit. Pero subukan mong pumasok sa loob ng cr. Merong aapak sa bowl. Ilalagay ang napkin na ginamit kung saan. May flush na nga, hindi pa gagamitin. Walang disiplina sa loob ng palikuran.

Siguro dapat kung paano natin linisin ang ating sarili, ganon din dapat sa lugar. Sabi nga ng ilan, ang ating banyo ang salamin ng ating kalinisin. At kung tinatamad ka lang, isipin mo na lang yung kasunod na gagamit ng palikuran. Hindi ba't nakakahiya naman makita nila ang dumi na iyong iniwan?

Panaginip

Dreams. Sabi ng iba kabaligtaran daw ng mangyayari yung panaginip mo. Sabi naman samin ng professor ko nung college, yung panaginip natin ay ang mga bagay na nasa likod ng utak natin na ayaw natin isipin kaya sa panaginip sya nalabas. Sabi naman ng ilang mapamahiin, ang panaginip daw ay babala. Ano nga ba talaga?

Di naman ako yung taong mahilig mag-isip ng kahulugan ng panaginip. Sakin, part sila ng pag-tulog mo. Minsan present, minsan absent. No big deal. Pero kung minsan nakakatuwa yung mga panaginip natin. Merong sa panaginip ko lang nakikita at nayayakap muli ang lolo ko na pumanaw na. meron ding sa panaginip ko ay tumatakbo ako ng mabilis tapos tatalon at makaka-lipad na ko..babagsak at lilipad ulit. Pero in general, kibit balikat lang ako.

Di namin natin maitatanggi na may mga panahon na ang isang panaginip ay nagiging inspirasyon satin. Kahit gising ka sasabihin mo, "panaginip man yun, balang araw matutupad ko din". Sila yung na-iinspire ka na maging totoo sila. Hahanapan mo ng kabuluhan. Pag-iisipan mo ng paraan. Marahil dahil iyon sa kasalukuyan mong estado. Nagnanais ka ng bagay na tingin mo ay sa panaginip lang posible.

Wala namang masama diba. Sabi nga sa pangarap nagmumula lahat ng bagay. Kung panaginip man para sayo ang katuparan ng minimithi mo..magsumikap ka. Gawin mo ang kaya mong gawin. At hayaan mong si God na ang gumawa ng kasunod. Kung hindi man naging maganda ang resulta..isipan mo na lang na isa iyong panaginip. Puedeng umulit..puedeng magbago..puedeng kalimutan na lang..at puede ding magka-totoo.

The truth is..

Woke up this morning with my soaring eyes. But the pain was not here. Naglaho na kasama ng luha ko. I am here in Singapore. Dreaming to have a job..save money..then head back home. Ofcourse kasama na din don ang sana ay maka-sakay sa Singapore Flyer. But here I am today, accepting the fact thaat I might come home. Not by my will..but because of the reality that eventhough you have an employer here, you can start to work unless you have the Empoyment Pass. And I was rejected by MOM.

Like I said, I had my moment of grieving. Now I accept the truth that if its for you, you'll get it. No matter how much you resist, it will fall on you. God's will ika nga.

I am stubborn as hell. And i went back to my self debate.."faith o pinipilit mo lang"..that is me. I constantly telling God to do what he thinks is good for me. I prayed harder that I thought I can. But the thing is, contrary to what I tell Him thaat I lift up everything to him..there comes, please make my wish come true. To the extent that I demanding God to grant my prayers. Where's the "I lift up everything to you?"

And there comes a point that I lied even to my parents. I was telling myself that it was for their own good. I don't want them worry about me. I am perfectly ok. Yes I am living in a safe place. Contrary to what my fellow Pinoy jobseekers here, I dont pay my rent. I eat everyday. I sleep comfortably. I am lucky. And the only problem is I dont have a job yet. Its been more than a month. I cant lied to my parents anymore that I can stay here. That everything will be alright. That I'll be starting a job soon. STOP. Once and for all, I just want to be honest..to them and most especially to myself. I might go home. Having a job here is not easy as I thought back then. And rather that doing or engaging into something illegal here..I'll choose to come home. I will come home if that's what I should do.

But for now, I'll take my remaining chances. Do what I should do. Follow up. Pray. And let God take me where I belong. Maybe its Singapore. Or maybe it's in the Philippines. After all I always have my home..my family waiting for me.

Singapore Oh Singapore

It all started in aa simple dream to ride on an airplane. Mag-pa-picture. Then in a bigger note, to find job. Mag-simula. To stand up again. Collect yourself. Yun bang pag-tingin mo sa salamin, sabihin mo "Bon I'm proud of you!"

Why Singapore? Why not. 4 hours away. At may Sky Wheel pa. Kidding aside, Singapore is one of the richest countries in Asia. If you want to start up again, this is the place to be.

But things had not been easy for me to get here. Akala mo ok na, bigla may problema pala..at nasa Pilipinas pa ko non. I almost lose hope. Pero inisip ko na lang, eto gusto ko e. Eto ang pinag-dasal ko. And before I knew it, unti-unti ng nabibigyan ng solusyon yung mga problema. Sabi ko na lang, para sakin talaga to. I just have to do what I have to do..and lift up everything to the Lord.

And here I am. I may not have the story to tell yet. A job to call. But I know soon something good will come my way. As it always happen in the past. Patience is a virtue daw. I'll stick to that. Besides God put me here. He have definite plans for me. I'll just have to wait. And never loose Faith.

PLASTIC

The Lost Symbol

After almost 2 weeks, finally last night natapos ko na ang The Lost Symbol. And I really can't believe that it took me that long. Paano ba naman pa putol-putol na pagbasa at nagka-sakit pa ko for 4 days. Honestly hindi ako nag-enjoy basahin yun. Sobrang mahal ko ang mga novel ni Dan Brown at lalo na ang character ni Robert Langdon, pero etong Lost Symbol, di ako asyadong nasiyahan.

Hindi ko alam kung dahil na-delayed ang pagtapos kong basahin yung book..o di lang talaga sya kasing ganda ng Angels & Demons at The Da Vinci Code. At hindi rin masyadong na-elaborate yung project na ginawa ni Katherine Solomon. Natapos na lang ng ganon. Hindi kasing talino ang istorya ng Lost Symbol sa dalawang naunang nobela. Hindi rin ako nag-enjoy sa story ng FreeMasons.

Pero dahil bias naman talaga ko..sige love ko na din The Lost Symbol. Kaya shut up na Bon!